6 Things Not To Say To A Pregnant Girl

When someone finds out they are pregnant, everyone wants to offer their opinion – it is a well known inconvenience of pregnancy. I say inconvenience because although people simply want to help, some will take any opportunity to pass down every golden nugget of information. They do mean well, but often these golden nuggets are the last things you want to hear whilst pregnant. Pregnancy is such an individual experience and will be unique to every person, and because of this there’s so many different ways to agitate a hormonal pregnant lady. We are irrational, it happens. I think there’s a few key areas that should be completely off-limits for open discussion: long story short, if you happen to see me within the next 2 weeks, I beg of you, do not make any of these comments. Just don’t.

1. ‘Your 8 months pregnant? But I’m fatter than you are!’ 
This is in the exact same boat as ‘Woaaah your bump is massive’. You may think this is a compliment and that you are making me feel better, but you are not. My weight gain may not be all that significant to you, but currently I’m feeling like I fall somewhere between a post-gobstopper Violet from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and a baby whale – so it’s definitely significant to me.
Making it clear how insignificant you find my weight gain simply draws attention to how irrational my own insecurities are right now, and I’d really rather you didn’t, I already know. Also, lets not forget how awkward the silence is that follows a comment like this – yes chances are you are bigger than me, but I can’t exactly agree with you… Instead, I’m forced to grit my teeth and utter a fake laugh, when really I’m just irritated it was brought up in the first place.

2. ‘Your really fit, you’ll sail through labour!’ 
And again, you’re trying to help, but this really does not. At this point I’m blatantly ignoring the prospect of labour – after 40 weeks or so, my magical stork will drop off my little bundle of joy in the night and I’ll wake up with a flat stomach. Telling me I’ll sail through is just lulling me into a false sense of security. I am extremely fit, sure, but my body is used to long runs and squat racks, that doesn’t make me any more accustomed to pushing a watermelon out of my vagina. I’m fairly sure I’m right in saying no-one sails through labour, if you do, your a superhero. Labour is hard, worth it, but hard. My fitness level won’t change that.

3. ‘Have you been craving pickles?’ 
Serious question, that I would love for someone to answer: is this a common craving? For me, this has been the pregnancy equivalent of ‘Nice weather today eh?’. Whenever conversation dries up, or someone doesn’t know how to reply when you tell them your pregnant, they will automatically revert to classic pickle craving banter. 9 months in and I’m bored of the pickle banter, I know its supposed to be light hearted and comical, but I really don’t like pickles, and it got old after the first trimester. Give it a rest eh?

4. ‘Oh, your pregnant? Was it planned?’ 
Please, at least try and hide your shock. And then just stop yourself before you get to the second part of that question. How it is that anyone thinks they are entitled to ask this I’ll never know, wether my child was planned or not is my business, and putting me in a position where I have to answer it is almost insulting. If I say it wasn’t, will you judge me? Will I be a worse mum because it wasn’t? A baby is a miracle regardless of the circumstances it came about in, and anyone who thinks they are entitled to know these circumstances is just asking to press my very pregnant, very hormonal buttons. I’ll openly say that my pregnancy was unplanned, but there are many girls who are less open, quite rightly. I wish people wouldn’t put them in a position they don’t want to be in. ‘Congratulations’ will do just fine!

5. ‘May as well catch up on your sleep now then eh!’
I’d not thought of this before, hold on, better bank some of that sleep up then… Cue eye roll. Again, everyone is trying to be comical, and yes I’m perfectly aware of the fact sleep deprivation will now be a very real thing in my life, but sleeping more right now, won’t make me any less tired later, and reminding me of the lack of sleep I’ll be getting for the next how long is not helping me! Please let me live in my magical bubble where my baby will sleep through the night without a hitch, at least for now, I can’t imagine my bubble will last much longer….

6. ‘Do you plan on breastfeeding?’
I won’t even elaborate much on this. Just don’t go there. It is absolutely none of your business how I plan on feeding my child. They will be fed. That is all. If you fancy putting in your two-cents on the Breast is Best Debate, then there are so many online forums that will welcome your opinions, and you can fight it out tooth and nail there. Woman have enough to think about during pregnancy without having the added pressure of pleasing society; everyone takes a different stance on Bottle vs Breast, but it’s a personal decision, and generally not one that you should have to defend whilst pregnant.

That concludes my top six, if people can manage to avoid them then we’ll get on like a house on fire during the latter stages of my pregnancy. Does anyone have any pet peeves for comments during pregnancy? Or am I the only irrational one here…. Thanks for reading, Kirsty

Follow:
Share:

Leave a Reply

Leave a comment

  1. September 22, 2016 / 9:50 am

    I'm trying to get pregnant with my husband now and looking at these I completely agree! I'm ready to receive these annoying questions :/ haha

    Xoxo

  2. September 22, 2016 / 10:25 am

    Oh, I can remember them all! I also hated when everyone and their mother wanted to touch my belly and just did!

  3. September 22, 2016 / 11:13 am

    Wow. Will keep all these in mind. No 3 and 6 tho, some people can be over inquistive. Nice post

  4. September 22, 2016 / 11:59 am

    These are so good, especially catch up on your sleep. Sleep while pregnant is miserable!

  5. September 22, 2016 / 12:14 pm

    Oh yes!!!!!!!!!! #4 and #6 AWKWARD and INNAPROPRATE………..BOTH are no one elses business ……I don't know why people feel the have the right to ask such stupid things! a simple congrats or "youre glowing" will suffice and make any expectant mama feel good

  6. September 22, 2016 / 12:45 pm

    My best friend is expecting her first this week and I have definitely learned what not to say! But she takes it with a grain of salt since we are more than just acquaintances.

  7. September 22, 2016 / 1:11 pm

    It is so true. All of it. I think people don't intend to be rude, but because we all choose to do things are own way, we wind up thinking our way is the best way. There is no right way. Only what is best for you.

  8. September 22, 2016 / 1:27 pm

    "Was it planned?" ?! Really, people get away with this without being told to f**k off?

  9. September 22, 2016 / 2:34 pm

    I haven't been pregnant, but many of my girlfriends have commented on most of these points lol Also when people just touch your belly without asking! That one would bug me more than the comments. Great post! Tal xo

  10. September 22, 2016 / 3:15 pm

    Ugh, the preggo questions can totally drive you nuts. My favorite was the "was it planned" question. I would always look at them and then say something totally inappropriate like "Oh NO, My husband and I had A LOT of sex to make this baby!" haha

  11. September 22, 2016 / 4:52 pm

    Great list! What IS it about the pickle question?? I rather ask what I am craving and if they can please get me some! (Peaches, I craved peaches.)Also #1. I was smaller too and I hated when people said "are you sure there is a baby in there?" ugh.

  12. September 23, 2016 / 5:35 am

    LOL the things I never say, but this is such a great list. I can't ever believe people say some of these things! xx Adaleta Avdic

  13. September 23, 2016 / 11:32 am

    i agree to this.. really each pregnancy is very unique.. not just to individuals but each pregnancy a woman had is really a unique one.. I my self never experienced same pregnancy with my 4 kids

  14. September 23, 2016 / 11:42 am

    I can't really relate but these are still really funny, I can definitely imagine people asking these haha. I am so glad I stumbled across your blog, it is really lovely and I hope you keep up your amazing work! x

    adelelydia.blogspot.com

  15. September 23, 2016 / 2:04 pm

    With my first, people were constantly commenting on how small I was, and it was horrible. No one knew that I'd had a really scary 20 week ultrasound where they told me the baby was too small and could have some birth defects, so every time someone said it, I would go into full panic mode. Thank G-d both she and I were totally fine, but I hated all the comments with both my pregnancies!

  16. September 23, 2016 / 4:56 pm

    Hahahah, really fun but true. So many weird questions.

  17. September 23, 2016 / 5:41 pm

    I was constantly amazed by the things people said to me when I was pregnant, but asking if it was planned pregnancy was the worst. First, I was 30 and married, not likely an accident, but what if it were? And why is it any of your business? People are crazy when it comes to pregnancy.

  18. September 23, 2016 / 7:04 pm

    The current one that is doing my head in is "oh you wait til you have two children to look after!" – yes I'm quite aware that going from one child to two children is going to be hard work but do you think I haven't thought about that?! The pickle one made me laugh because I had that conversation just yesterday! My sandwich came with pickles which I picked out and my friend thought I'd be scoffing them up because I'm pregnant. Nope, never been a fan! xx

  19. September 24, 2016 / 1:27 am

    Rather than what someone says, it's that when you're pregnant, people all of a sudden feel like it's okay to invade your personal space and touch your stomach! You don't do that to people who aren't pregnant.

  20. September 24, 2016 / 2:15 am

    Yes to every one! People tend to think they can say anything to you when you're pregnant, and it almost gets worse once you have kids. I agree with Shani above about people just randomly touching your stomach…not OK at all.

  21. September 25, 2016 / 5:18 pm

    My top one that I'm getting annoyed about is people telling me that my life is going to be over once the baby arrives and I can 'kiss goodbye' to my blog and any social life I once had. Hmmm not true! Yes things will change, but the people I know with babies still do all those things, so I'm sure I can!

    Lyndsay | Fizzy Peaches Travel & Lifestyle Blog

  22. September 30, 2016 / 6:40 pm

    I was huuuuuugggggge when I was pregnant with my son. I was about 5 months pregnant and looked 10 months pregnant. I remember being in Home Depot and I sneezed and some random guy made a move like he was about to catch the baby that was inevitably about to fall out of me – I laughed because it was inappropriately funny to me and reassured the guy I had several months to go to which he replied, "Are those twins in there!?!" Um, no random Home Depot Guy, just one. Thanks.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *