I am absolutely floored, more mentally and physically exhausted than last week (if that's possible), but still more in love than ever. Harrison is now two weeks old and it's time for this all to slow down a little. I cannot get over how quick this last fortnight has flew by, especially in comparison to how long the latter end of my pregnancy felt. Everyone told me to cherish the newborn days as they won't be here forever, and I'll be the first to admit I all but rolled my eyes, time is time after all, but now I understand. Time seems to fly. This week was busier, harder, and involved double the amount of mental breakdowns, but it's getting easier. I need to remember he is only two weeks old and therefore won't be settled for a while yet, we learn something new every single day, and with each day Harrison becomes more alert and more of a little person, which is amazing.
What The Midwife Says
He's tall. I have a tall baby. Anyone who knows me personally knows I barely hit 5'3 on a good day, and Jordan isn't exactly towering, yet Harrison is above average for height somehow. The midwife says it doesn't mean he'll be tall when he's older as growth spurts can fall at different points, but I'm still telling everyone we have a tall baby, I was astounded. He's gained weight again, thank goodness, I'd been worried as he's not been keeping his milk down, so thought he might have regressed from last week. Little chunk went from 8'4lbs to 8'8lbs, so we're still moving in the right direction. I can't think of anything else our midwife actually told us - the midwives we've seen up until now have been absolutely useless if I'm honest. Any question I asked, I was told to just phone NHS 24 if I was concerned, so pretty much a waste of a house visit. I'm now with the health visitor, so I'm just happy I don't have to deal with them again, safe to say my experience with them wasn't the best.
Up until the 13th/14th night, it was a struggle. He just wouldn't sleep. No matter how tired he was, when we went up to bed anytime between 10pm and 11pm, he'd be so awake and would refuse to be put down. Dream feeds didn't work, swaddling was doing nothing, and he just wouldn't settle for anything or anyone until around 2am. From there it was fine and he'd sleep until 6am, then again until 9/10am, but I was exhausted from sitting up watching him blink away at me for the best part of 5 hours. If he wasn't so cute I'd probably have gone stir crazy in those days. Something seems to have clicked though and the last two nights he's only taken an hour or so to be put down at the start of the night, which is absolute heaven compared to earlier in the week. It's baby steps, but at we're now getting a solid 4 hours between each feed and it honestly makes all the difference. I actually feel alive again.
This has been really iffy since we got home from the hospital - I'm not sure if it's the milk, or the teets, or if it's possibly the start of reflux or colic, but he always seems so uncomfortable after every feed. No matter how much we burp him, the knees are constantly pulled up to his chest, he's unsettled lying down, he's unsettled sitting up, and often brings his feed right back up again. We asked our midwife, who uselessly suggested we give him more if he's crying as he might still be hungry, and if we're still concerned to phone our GP. The health visitor gave a few more viable suggestions, so we'll try switching the bottles this week, and if that doesn't work, try different milk. He's been taking Infacol, and that does seem to have helped a little at least, so hopefully it was just a phase and he's just adjusting.
He had his first photoshoot on Monday, which in one word was an absolute DISASTER. It was a newborn shoot, so the company like the babies to be sound asleep so they can be moved about without much hassle, but Harrison was not up for going to sleep at all. Again, probably due to the discomfort he'd been in with the milk issues, but the poor photographer got stuck with a crying baby for 5 hours, in a shoot that was only supposed to take 40 minutes. Mhari-Clare was brilliant with him though and we got there in the end - albeit only a fleeting few minutes of sleep, but it was enough to walk out with a handful of amazing pictures. I can safely say Harrison will not be a child model though.
Harrison got registered. I have a real boy now! Of course he was always real, but now he's official. No going back now - Harrison Martin Brown is on the certificate, although Jordan did decide to try and add Miguel to his middle names seconds before we went in. I like to think he was joking, but let's face it, anythings possible with him.
He now likes the bath. Can this really be a milestone? For me it was. No more screaming when he gets put in the water, which gives me hope that I might end up with a water baby after all. I cannot wait to be able to go swimming with him, and after the first few baths I thought my hopes were crushed, but no, we now have a glimmer again.
What About Mum?
Last week was a struggle at times - the baby blues hit me hard. Although it didn't really have anything to do with Harrison, it was all down to visitors. Everyone told me that I didn't have to say yes to visitors, and that people would understand if I said not for the first few weeks, but it's so much easier said than done. It came in floods, for days I would be completely fine seeing everyone, and then in one day it would all get a bit too much. Breaking point was standing in a walk-in-wardrobe with Harrison whilst people rang our doorbell praying that he wouldn't cry and they'd just assume we weren't home. After that slight psychotic break we figured it was best to calm it down on the visiting for a few days, and low and behold I feel so much better. I managed to get back to exercising (only on the 13th day as I couldn't hold off until the 2 week mark), but already I felt like my old self again. It really is crazy what exercise can do for you if you actually enjoy it. It's getting easier, that much is for sure, so it can only get better from here.
So that's us, Week Two, over and done with. It's absolutely terrifying to think how quickly it's gone, and how in another two weeks time Harrison will be a month old. He already seems SO much older, just from the first week to the second, he's so much more alert and his eyes are open so much more now - it's only a matter of time before he can start seeing properly, and I've never been so excited about the prospect of something! Hopefully I'll manage to get the update up on time this week (given that it is now only four days away I'm not sure how likely that'll be)... slowly but surely we're getting back on our feet. Until then,