My Labour Fears

Labour *should* be happening any day now – I’ve been counting down the days for the entirety of the final trimester, and you’d think I was gearing up for Christmas at the rate I’ve wanted this to come round. Reality is now beginning to hit though, and whilst I’ve hated pregnancy, and I’m ready to meet little Baby J – I am not ready for labour. I suppose you probably never are ‘ready’ as such, but I’ve now read what must be close to hundreds of birth stories, I’ve googled every possible outcome, and I’ve watched many a labour video on youtube (only the nice, edited, not gruesome, vlog style ones – even I can’t bring myself to face One Born Every Minute until after delivery) and if anything I feel worse off than I did before. My labour fears may be erratic, but they are definitely there.

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1. What If It Lasts for 37 hours?

I don’t know where I plucked 37 specifically from, I’m sure 36 would be just as bad, but either way you get the idea. What happens if I’m in labour for days?! I’ve heard a few stories of multiple day long labours, and I honestly don’t know how I’d cope with an extended labour that shows no sign of ending. I’ve currently been giving myself a pep talk based wholly around the idea that labour is only temporary and will be worth it for the end result – I’m not sure how peppy that talk will be after a day and a half with no sign of letting up though…

2. What If I Can’t Have An Epidural?

I’ve not looked into the actual time scales, because chances are I’ll just get myself hyped up and more worried than I have to be, but I know that after dilating past a certain point, you can be too late to get an epidural. At this point, I don’t even know if I want one, actually that’s a lie, at this point I want everything they are taking – but the thought of no longer having the option is terrifying. I’d hate to be told that I was no longer viable for one, and have the choice taken from me. Chances are, if I’m in a place where there saying I’m too far gone and I can’t have one, then I didn’t need one in the first place and it’ll all be over soon – it’s just all down to the thought of someone else making that choice for me.

3. What If He’s Not Ok?

Finding out so late into my pregnancy meant that I didn’t get to take Folic Acid, I was still drinking alcohol (not excessively, but still), I was drinking excessive coffee, I probably wasn’t eating enough, and vitamins were non-existent in my system. Because of how late we were, we were not able to get any of the screening tests that accompany a normal pregnancy also, so any irregularities won’t have been picked up. It goes without saying love is unconditional, and I’m sure he will be perfectly healthy, but I still worry that he won’t be completely healthy when he’s born, as a result of not taking care of my body, and therefore him, in the first and second trimesters.

4. Forceps.

Even the word gives me the shivers. Actually, it’s probably more the word than the actual process of using them that is a fear. I’m firmly of the anything to get him out safely mindset, so I won’t say no to any intervention needed, but the mere thought of forceps puts me off. I know a lot of babies are delivered healthily this way, and they are probably not nearly as bad as they seem, but I can’t help but dread the thought of them.

5. Tearing In Two

Tears are a part of labour I’ve already accepted – I’m under no false illusion that I’ll most likely tear and I’m ok with that, the minute we start mentioning third/fourth degree, this way, that way, every way tears my heart drops. These only happen in 4% or so of mums, but I just can’t help but think I’ll be part of that 4%. An Episiotomy is terrifying as well – I’d been completely fine, until I read a post about the reality of recovery from one (I currently have baby brain and can’t remember which blog it was on, but if I do remember i’ll link!), and now it’s well and truly on my list of fears.

6. Losing My Labour Partner

This is a completely justified fear – anyone who knows Jordan personally will know he has absolutely no gag reflex and anything remotely gruesome will probably see him bring up the contents of his stomach. I can’t imagine he will be any legitimate use as a labour partner, and I may just ask him to stand outside, just so he doesn’t piss me off. If he’s not sick, and he doesn’t faint, then chances are he’ll simply never let me forget the time I poo’d myself during labour, so to be honest, I think it’s a winning choice. Sorry Jordan.
As I said, they are probably slightly irrational, but I think everyone has their own set of slightly ridiculous labour fears. No doubt when labour actually decides to kick off these things will be the last thing on my mind, but in the run up, when I’m literally days away, they seem to be all that’s playing on it. What were your labour fears? Anything more ridiculous than mine?….


  • We are currently not planning to have a baby yet, but maybe we will have next year. The thought alone really scares me, so I can only imagine once it's there. Good luck to you! I hope you have a safe and healthy delivery!

    Abby of Life in the Fash Lane

  • I think all pregnant women have these fears.
    If it helps, I was in labour for about 26 hours and although I was utterly exhausted (I actually didn't sleep for a total of 44 hours) I didn't notice the time if that makes sense.

    I have fingers and toes crossed for a quick, and as unyucky birth as possible (not going to lie,it's pretty messy!) and a healthy little baby at the end.

    Rachel //

  • Oh gosh, I'm not even pregnant (nor have I ever been) and I have these fears! I think you listed just about every thing that could be wrong or go wrong. Yikes! Good luck to you and I hope your labor goes smoothly.

  • labour fears are normal.. during my first child i was so brave..eheh i was even excited to be a mom..but when labour started..awww..imagine i started to feel the pain at 19th..and gave birth at 22nd..that is why my next pregnancies were full of fears..

  • Oh honey! It's so natural to be scared but don't let that damper the excitement too.
    I was petrified first time round, and I did have a 36 hour labour but even though it was so long it comes to an end and they won't let you go much longer than that without intervention. It goes so quickly and in such a blur that it's not until after you realise how long it was and by that time you have a beautiful baby in your arms. Even if it's not the best birth you plan for, however it is and goes it will be the best experience of your life!
    Wishing you all the luck in the world that it goes smoothly for you xxx

  • Aww…honestly I never wanted to be pregnant because I was terrified of labor/delivery all the up until I actually went into the hospital (induced) to have a baby…then it was all business. I ended up in an emergency C-section and was telling the nurse I wanted to be put to sleep I was so scared. Thankfully they ignored me and afterwards I was ready to do it all again…like immediately after I was all "I want another baby" lol…I'm sure you will do great! Good luck!

  • Girl, I'm only 9 weeks along and I already have SO many fears about giving birth. It's completely terrifying to me in every way imaginable. I can't handle a paper cut let alone pushing a child out of my body. The thought of not being able to have an epidural is scary to me. I don't even want to talk about what I'd do if I were to need a C-section. I can't even handle having an IV put in. I don't do needles. So I'm screwed in every way imaginable and I've already determined that this will be our only child lol I'm very worried.

    xo, Keating | Why Hello Lovely

  • Hollie says:

    Best of luck. I've never had any children but I do believe I would be in a similar boat and nervous. You will do amazing and give birth to a beautiful and healthy child.

  • Rose Mont says:

    I can only laugh at your post as I am a mom to 4 and no more but, all us mom's had to start somewhere. We all could make a list of fears or just add on to yours. I could cross off a few on your list but I won't tell you lol, you already seemed to have it almost figured out. Your delivery will go fine and it will be the start of many great memories.

  • Oh Chel says:

    I am with you on the labour part… We are thinking about having a child – but this part scares me the worse.

    Your fears are justified. I think have thought of each and every one of them and believe I too will be freaking about about them.

    I hope that it can just fly by as smooth as possible so that you can get to loving that little baby in your arms. Through all the fears having your baby will be worth it.

    Good luck. You're in my thoughts.

  • You are DEFINITELY not the only one with these fears. I want three kids (so I say…) eventually but the thought of childbirth worries me. I am praying that you have a safe and healthy delivery ma'am. You've got this!

  • Ahhh Labor fears… as a Mama who has given birth to 5 amazing and beautiful children I tell you one thing. They ALL have been different. My oldest was born at a birthing center.2: I got an epi and I couldn't feel my bottom half even after he was born for like 2 hrs lol… 3, My epi wore off right while I was finally resting and woke up with barfing feet from my beloved MIL lol.. 4th.. She was born at home.. (IF I could I would have had all my babies at home it was the most peaceful and beautiful) my youngest was my rebel I had wanted a repeat home birth BUT she had other ideas… and made it WAYYYY to interesting as she was born at 27 wks via emergency C-section…BUT although each of my kids birth was different the focus was not the fear but what was going to happen a healthy and beautiful gift in your arms. Remember that no matter what you think YOU will be ready the strength we have as mothers from the moment we see those 2 lines starts to grow just as our little one is growing in our womb. So deep breathes and enjoy the last of your little one being able to be doing something NOBODY can which is hear your heartbeat from the inside. YOU GOT THIS. Safe & Happy, Healthy Delivery wishes to you. OH and it's true even if there is pain the MOMENT they give your baby to you it will be the most AMAZING OVERWHELMING LOVE.

  • Marga Puno says:

    I hate labour! 12 hours of labour. This pain makes my body into two But seeing your child is the best thing in the world. 🙂

  • I have not started a family yet, but I have all of these same fears! Good luck to you and sending healthy vibes your way!

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