I’ve been feeling very lost when it comes to this blog lately. I’ve published some absolute garbage in the last few months, and I feel like I need to get back to the reason I started Life With Boys in the first place. I wanted to document our life, the little moments, the ones’ we’ll forget all too easily – to have a creative outlet transpired in an online diary. I’ve lost a lot of that writing just for me aspect, and I’m trying to get some of that back. I thought I would start joining in with Ordinary Moments, a weekly series created by Donna that has been running since before I ever started writing. With Harrison getting older I feel like I am scrambling to document everything, as though it’ll be gone for ever if I don’t write it all down. It won’t be, but I feel like I want to try and capture as many of the ordinary moments as I can before they are gone. There is something to be said for oversharing, but I can’t help but look back at the last year and regret not sharing more of the mundane, so if that’s how I feel after a year – how will I feel after five years? So here we are.
This week was a good one. I’ve found the inspiration and go-get I had lost over the last few weeks, Harrison’ has found his feet again after an ear infection and we finally ticked off his passport pictures from the to-do list. It started off as one of those weeks. Harrison was not himself, he wasn’t sleeping (nothing new there) and had started waking every hour. He was harder work than usual but with no rhyme or reason as to what was wrong we put it down to some teeth coming in. A doctors appointment on a whim found an ongoing ear infection (terrible mum alert for not picking up on it sooner) and 48 hours later antibiotics had given us a completely different toddler. He’s back. My happy, cheeky little monkey is well and truly back and the week turned around completely from that point. It is terrible, but when we realised I was torn between guilt for not noticing the ear infection, and relief, that there was a reason for the hellish few weeks we had been having.
I did make the mistake of taking his passport picture while he had his ear infection, so we’ll have a a weepy-sad-eyes picture following him for the next five years, but at least he’ll actually be able to come on holiday with us… It was one of those jobs we just put off and off, but eventually it would have to be done. I can’t help but laugh now looking at the camera roll of pictures I had to take trying to get a steady, non-crying, non-smiling picture of him, alas we got there in the end. The excitement has now well and truly set in for our holiday in May. I’m under no false illusions that it will be a relaxing break, but I’m ready to chase him around the beach and spend hours splashing about every day.
With the holiday countdown on, I’ve started thinking more and more about how I want to document it, more so about home videos. Vlogs rather. I want to record the memories, document our baby while he is still a baby (if I can even say he is). I kick myself for not having had the courage to film some of the milestones so far. I’ve picked up the camera so many times, filmed so many clips that I wish I had now, but that I abandoned because I was too concerned about what everyone else would think if I put them online. I take pictures, but sometimes they are just not the same. This week, we chased the ducks at the park. It was Harrisons’ first time with the ducks, and he squealed with delight the entire time. He wouldn’t stand still, he clapped his hands the entire time and shouted ‘BIRDY!’ as they surrounded him. The pictures I’ve taken are lovely, but they don’t tell the story. Right now, I remember it clearly, but in ten years time I’m going to wish I could see him chasing those ducks for the first time again.
I’ve dipped my toes into YouTube already. Or at least, I’ve tried to (the water must have been freezing because I seem to yank them out before they’ve even had a chance to settle). I find it uncomfortable and completely out of my comfort zone, but I think I need to just get over that. When I was growing up, my dad had a camcorder reserved for Christmas Day and only Christmas Day. He was no Spielberg, but he was a man with a plan and I can now go back and watch Christmas morning on any given year. I love that. I love seeing the changes in myself each year, I love seeing the changes in my mum and dad, and then my brother when he was born. With iPhone’s these days there is no need for camcorders or tapes, but after losing my phone when Harrison’ was four months old and every video recorded with it, I’m acutely aware of how temporary those phone-videos are.
It’s all talk right now. We’ll see if it actually happens, but it’s my aim over the next few months to pick up the video camera more and give myself a video diary to look back on. There’s something to be said for oversharing and I do know I’m probably toeing the line with a blog and an Instagram already, but heck, I’m nostalgic, sue me.