9 Fool Proof Ways to Spot A New Mum
The irony of this post is the naïve ideal I came into motherhood with; when I imagined the first few weeks of parenthood, sure, I imagined sleepless nights, but I also imagined the relaxing coffee dates, mindless chit-chat over lunch with a sound sleeping baby, scenic walks in the park with the pram.. the reality though has been very different, who would have thought. If you happened to see me out and about right now, I swear you could pin-point my newly acquired motherhood a mile off, I practically scream new mum after all.. On the off chance you didn't quite catch my new mum role by my tiny human in tow, here's 9 sure fire ways to tell:
1. A grand total of two interchangeable mum outfits.
Now, for some unbeknown reason when I was pregnant I seemed to think that once I had my baby I'd suddenly gain full use of the ridiculous amount of clothes in my wardrobe. Turns out, that's not the case. We may have had the baby but unfortunately we probably don't have the pre-baby body, so whilst we don't quite fill out our maternity clothes, we aren't yet into our old gear. So new mum fashion consists of a whole two baggy shirts and some leggings alternated daily. You can spot us a mile off.
2. Baby Talk (Don't worry, we hate us too).
3. Yes, that's baby sick.
4. The frantic air of desperation whilst out in public.
5. Two make up looks; non existent or one brush stroke away from drag queen.
6. At least three bags in tow (none of which contain the kitchen sink).
7. They won't be on time, in fact, chances are they won't even turn up.
8. Eyebags that are now glaringly close to the cheekbones.
9. Tiny human in tow.
Or is that too obvious?