H is 1 Month Old
Harrison is one month old today. I've started every single one of these updates off saying how terrifying it is that we're another week down, and this week is no different. It is terrifying. It's terrifying that I no longer have a baby that I can describe as weeks old; from here on out we're into the months, and I can only imagine how fast time will fly from here. I keep on wishing away the days - I can't wait for him to smile, to laugh, to roll over and to crawl, but I can't bear the thought of losing the newborn days. Everyone said it would go quickly, but I didn't quite imagine it would go this quickly. He's doing well, I can't say that enough. Sleeps not great, but it never was going to be, he's a newborn, he doesn't know the difference between night and day. I've gotten used to being tired, if that's the only struggle we have to face in these first few weeks then I'll be forever grateful. Babies aren't easy, I expected it to be difficult, not easy, but worth it in the end. He definitely is worth it.
What The Midwife Says
Well the midwife didn't bother to turn up this week, so I've not really got much to say here. I say midwife, it's not, it's the Health Visitor, but she's been just as useless as my midwife was all along. I'm sorry, but I won't sugar coat it. The NHS has been a massive let-down from the very get go. From having to wait 3 weeks for an initial scan (after finding out about my pregnancy at 26 weeks), to having pretty much no support and a less than knowledgable midwife, ante-natal classes that had no space for me despite it being my first child, and then midwives and health visitors who can't even turn up when they say they will, I'm pretty much sick to the back teeth of it. I'd never expected to have my hand held and walked through the process, but surely turning up to a weekly appointment is a given. Rant over. As far as I can tell, chunk is doing brilliantly. His skin is clearing up after his hormone surge, and his growth is still progressing at a ridiculous pace. When do they stop growing so quickly? He already looks so grown up compared to last week - it has to stop!
Slow and steady wins the race, I'm just trying to keep on telling myself that. He's a baby, he doesn't come pre-programmed with a routine and therefore he's not going to be sleeping through the night now, or for a while for that matter. We've had our good nights and bad nights, generally though, he's doing better, and I'm getting a good 3 hours here and there. Some night's he's done a solid four/five hour stretch, and I've woke up feeling ridiculously refreshed. It's amazing what four hours sleep can do for a new mum.
What About Mum?
This will be the last weekly update - from here on out it'll be monthly, which is a sad, but positive thing at the same time. I don't want to focus on the week's gone by, and dissect every single little detail that happens in his life, it's probably time I start living more in the moment. Monthly is enough.